Wednesday, June 19, 2013

I Breath Fiction

This is a post I made on Tumblr a few months ago and I decided it was fitting to be shared here as well:

Do you ever find something - a character in a book, a television show, anything - and find that it resonates you on such a level that it becomes a part of you and how you identify yourself?

I am an avid reader and a Netflix addict, and what these two things have in common is that they provide me not only ways of escaping reality, but new and better ways of interacting with reality.

They are my safe-havens because they allow me to interact with characters and concepts without fearing I’m being judged - something I personally struggle with.

They are a constant; something I can always turn to without fail or risk of being abandoned.

They are reflections of struggles and reminders of triumph. I may not have gone to Hell and back again like Dean Winchester, but he is a reminder that I can conquer my own demons.

They are reminders to love and forgive myself. I see how deeply Dean despises himself, how desperately The Doctor tries to run from everything he cannot forgive himself for; I constantly wish so badly to grab them by the shoulders and shake them and make them see all the amazing things they have done, all the people they have saved, all the reasons the universe is a better place because of them. When nights of self-loathing begin to close in they remind me that just because I can’t always see the things that make me amazing doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

They are reminders of just how valuable friends who truly understand and appreciate you are, regardless of how few they may be in number; consider where John and Sherlock would be if they had never found each other, or how badly the Doctor needs his companions and how carefully he selects them.

I have been laughed at and told that internalizing fiction to such an extent is unhealthy; I respectfully disagree. I know for a fact that I would not be the person I am if it were not for the beautiful things I identify myself with, and I am rather proud of who I am. As an aspiring writer, I hope I can one day create something that others identify with on such a deep level as I do my select few obsessions, and that it may help them the way mine do me.

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